The "Princess" Thing
After the universe kept sending me things that had to do with the word: princess, I decided that it was time to have an official princess week on my fb page. This week was dedicated to anything that had to do with the word princess, whether it was an inspirational story, a satire, or something completely different, one of the first things that showed up was a clip that had been posted on jezebel by a group on youtube called Second City Network who did a satire about a few different disney movies and their horrible advice that they give to little girls.
In the one that is by far my favorite, The Little Mermaid tells us about how she enjoys collecting things, and how if you have a dad who loves you, run away! That movie was by far my favorite movie when I was little because I had this strange affinity for both red heads, and mermaids. Somehow disney managed to combine both of these into one. As much as a I loved it, I was always bothered by the fact that Ariel had to give up her voice in order to have a boyfriend. Your voice is your power center, without it, you're strongly disempowered. A message that is beyond damaging for a young girl to absorb on any level, especially on a subconscious subliminal one.
As disturbing as this reality becomes, especially as you start to really think about and dissect the other ones. It does become somewhere between hilarious and horrible. I love that Second City also pointed out via their Beauty and the Beast spoof, that the "you don't need fancy people friends, you can be friends with things around your house" and "never be afraid of a challenge, especially if he lives in a big house and has lots of money!" It made me wonder if this is the reason some girls seem to get married to these men that make you instantly question why is she is marrying him, but who probably have a "nice personality." It also made me wonder if this is why so many women like completely fucked up men. I know I've gone through my douchebag phase, and also thought that I could change them, they just need love. I've also dated guys that really aren't that attractive and could be put in the "beastly" category, thinking that made them super attractive in this they're in a band sorta way, which they never were. However, in my mind, at least at the time, I definitely thought there was nothing wrong with them. Yet it makes me wonder why I ever took advice form a company who allowed former Nazi engineers to build all of tomorrowland, and despite their "clean" image (which seems gross in itself) they also own various porn companies. To which I'll answer is probably because I was five.
The only redeeming part of all of this so far, is that I was able to find the original script that had been written for what was suppose to be the sequel to the Little Mermaid. Ok, I made that last part up, and since I think there might already be a sequel, I will now tell you a much better version of it that could've existed if Disney wasn't such a punk ass. And it goes a little something like this: The sequel to the little mermaid will feature Ariel finally facing her hoarding addiction after her best friend, a singing crab, confronts her after finding the freezer full of dead cats that she keeps in her garage. Like the all inspiring original it will feature many musical numbers some involving the freezer burned cats themselves!
After my initial post I spent the next few days reflecting on this princess phenomenon and I thought about how Judd Apatow could be considered our adult version of disney's cartoons. We can only hope that he will collaborate with disney to make the animated version of the hit film Knocked Up. In this film a beautiful, successful princess will accidentally get drunk one night and sleep with a very frumpy man who smokes a lot of pot and has no job, or ambitions. Despite their seemingly two completely different worlds, the princess will slowly fall more and more in love with this unloveable character after she accidentally becomes pregnant by him (apparently this is after abortion is made illegal). Luckily her best friend a talking squirrel played by Ryan Seacrest will be there to guide her throughout this whole journey, in which she realizes that having any expectations when it comes to falling in love is not only ridiculous, but just kinda bitchy and she definitely doesn't want to be that girl.
You can watch the original videos here: http://www.youtube.com/user/TheSecondCityNetwork
