And Why Exactly Are We Suppose to Love U?

I think one of the things I've been struggling with a lot lately, is how or if I will ever be able to find a man who actually believes I'm his equal. For the most part when it comes to dating, we as women are stuck with this entire group of men who don't believe we are their equals. At the base of it, they hate us. Its almost like forcing someone who isn't white to only date members of the KKK, or someone who is gay only having the options of dating homophobic straight people. The majority of straight men either want us dead, want to abuse us, control us or just plain use us until they get tired and discard us like an old toy. They have no problems making misogynistic comments about other women, about our moms, or even our friends. And yet, we're suppose to love them?

We're taught as women that if there is something wrong in the relationship its our fault. Despite, that none of these men even care about us enough to actually be out there fighting for our rights as women, and fighting to make the world a better, safer place for us. Somehow we're suppose to love them, and have children and a life with them. Even if they claim they see us as equals, if you aren't going to speak out against misogyny and fight for me, you obviously don't see me the same as you see yourself. The saddest part, is as a woman we're already so screwed over by everything else, we can't even love without having to give our power away, and conform to this idea that we are second-class citizens. We tell ourselves repeatedly that there are good men out there, yet we rarely if ever encounter them, and when we do their greatest efforts of love are completely diminished by all the pain and abuse that we've already experienced because of the rest of their gender.

The only way men can make any of this right, is if they actually take personal responsibility for themselves, their gender and stop allowing men to abuse women in the first place. Saying you see us as equals isn't enough, you have to show us that, and more importantly you have to create it. I think the only thing that could help me or a lot of women heal, would be to see gender-based violence end, receive justice for the wrongs that have been committed against us, and than to experience endless amounts of unconditional love from the male population. I hope that we do see that, but its really not in my control nor is it my job to create it. The only people who can make amends for men are men. Until than, I guess we can continue to not sleep with the enemy, or sleep with him, but with one eye open at all times.