AND FALL IN LOVE WHENEVER YOU CAN
"But still sometimes, when the wind is warm or the crickets sing... I dream of a love that even time will lie down and be still for." Sally Owens
In the film Practical Magic a young Sally does a spell in which she dreams of man that she knows could never exist. She does this so that she will never get hurt.
I was recently told by one of psychic friends that a man will soon come into my life. A man who in her words "just adores me. He also seems to get me, and I mean really gets me, and my mission in life. He will also never hurt me."
After she told me this I became really upset, and I've spent the last 3 days crying non-stop. I wasn't even sure why I was so upset, until I started to think about my past lives. In all of them, I've always had to choose between Love or Power. I've always chosen Power. As you can imagine being a powerful woman under the partriarchy hasn't ever really ended well, and I usually end up being murdered. That doesn't mean that I would ever regret any of my decisions though. Sometimes you just have to follow your own path, even if no one else understands. Even in my last life in which I was imprisoned and brutally tortured during the Inquisition, all in an attempt to get me to give up my power, I still held true to myself to my last breathe.
I've always assumed that this life would be no different. That I would show up here, and do as much as I could before they killed me again, and I knew that if it came down to love or my mission, there was never any question. I can't even begin to describe the hell that I have gone through, especially in the last, almost 6 years now. The type of energetic work that I do is some of the most extreme, horrifying, and traumatic work that there is. And if you're wondering why I do it, well it goes back to me being 5 years old and seeing the way my dad treated my mom, and being unable to imagine my life not having something to do with helping to empower women and girls. I just want them to have a chance at life, and that is the ONLY reason that I have gone through any of this. And the thought that there might actually be a man out there who would understand how important this is to me, is something that has never crossed my mind.
It could also be, because there seems to be another pattern in all these lives. Whenever I am really happy and successful, a man, or a group of men show up, and before I know it they've taken everything from me. I guess the thought that there could also be a man who would show up in my life and not take everything from me or try to change me, or stop me from doing everything that I need to do, is also something I've never thought of. I just didn't even think that was a possibility.
It was during all of this that I realized that I'm being presented with a new opportunity. While I've had to choose between love or power before, I'm being given the option in this life to have both. I'm still having trouble wrapping my head around all of this, and that there is a man like this somewhere. But whoever he is, I hope he finds me.
At the end of the film the man she dreamed of, that she knew could never exist, turns out to be real. And he finds her.
