CONFRONTING YOUR ABUSER
One day in my early 20s I found myself somewhat accidentally confronting my dad about all the abuse that he had inflicted upon my entire family. This was an accident, because I had no intention of this happening, but through a series of events I found myself in that space.
When my parent’s divorced the restraining order made it so that my dad was not allowed to step foot on our property. If he was going to take any of us out to lunch or anywhere he would have to meet us at the top of our driveway. We live on a lot of land (at least according to suburbia terms) so someone parking on the street in front of our house was still pretty far away.
On this particular day in my early 20s, he decided to come to our house uninvited and show up at the front door. He wanted to talk to me. He had basically been stalking and threatening me since I officially cut him out of my life when I was 13 years old. After my parents divorced when I was 10 years old, I decided to continue to see my dad every weekend. I guess I felt I should give him a second-chance ? On one such occasion, we were coming back from a shopping trip at the mall, when he decided to pull off of the freeway. He than started driving us down this completely abandoned road in the middle of nowhere. He eventually stopped the car in an area that had no one around. He than locked the doors and took off his seatbelt.
At this point I became really scared. As I began to mature physically my dad had begun to look at me in a very creepy, do I need to say perverted way? Looking me up and down with his eyes. It was horrifying. When he stopped that car and locked the doors, I just began to pray and beg him to take me home. I thought he was going to rape me.
Eventually, after he talked to me for about five minutes or longer (I don’t remember anything that was said), and somewhere between my prayers, he finally started the car and took me home. When I got home, I ran out of that car as quickly as I could. That of course was the final straw. If there was any doubt in my mind that that man was evil, it ended that day. I never wanted to see him again. So I did everything in my power, as a 13 year old girl, who has no power in societal terms and no legal system to protect her, could do to never interact with him again. Of course this didn’t stop him from trying to contact him, and he began to stalk and harass me in anyway he could. I guess he had enough of not being able to have control over me, because on that day in my early 20s he decided to just show up at our front door, and refused to leave until he talked to me.
I opened the door, and took one look at him and said “Fine, I’ll talk to you, but I’ll only talk to you at the top of the driveway.” Then I walked right past him, and without looking back at all, I continued to march my way up to the top of the driveway. Even as I said those initial words to him, I could see the rage in his eyes. He gets this look and you just know that he is about to kill you or kill someone. I could see that, and I could feel his anger.
When I was at the top of the driveway I turned around to see him in all his rage making his way towards me. He was about halfway there, and I knew that by the time he got to where I was standing, he was just going to take his cane that he was using to walk with, and just start beating me with it. More importantly, I didn’t care. He had already taken away my entire childhood, what else could he do to me? And than in that moment came a maybe even more unexpected response. I wanted him to. Because for once in my life, I wanted everyone to see exactly who he was, and I’m pretty sure that beating your daughter in front of your house in broad daylight might do just that. I figured that maybe than he would finally go to jail, or be held responsible in some way shape or form for what he’s done.
In those moments when those thoughts were going through my head, I made a decision that no matter what he did I wouldn’t fight back. I would just let him beat me. And this is one of those instances in which I know there’s a lot of angels watching out for me. Because as he walked towards me in a state of pure rage, in what was probably less than a second I saw a wave of blue energy rush over him (it was coming from above him) and he went from being ready to kill me, to being completely calm. Now normally angels or higher dimensional beings will only intervene in a situation like this if it means that your life really is in immediate danger. Due to how intense the intervention was, I think it pretty much confirms that he was definitely going to kill me on that day.
After that blue wave of calming energy hit him, he walked slowly towards me, and met me at the top of the driveway. Then he did something that was beyond unbelievable. He had a normal conversation with me. There was no anger or rage. I don’t think he has ever interacted with another human being in that manner. As I stood there in shock I asked him the one question every abuse survivor wants to know: Why? Why did you do this to me?
After I asked him that question, to which he seemed to have no clue as to what I was talking about. Convenient, huh? Because if you don’t even acknowledge that something happened, you can’t be held responsible for it. The one thing abusers always do is blame EVERYONE else, it is NEVER their fault. Probably because they are all psychopaths, and this is a key characteristic of them. To be manipulative and to pretend that they are in fact the victims, all the while they will never take responsibility for their actions or for the way they make other people feel.
After talking to him for about 5 minutes I realized this conversation was not going to go anywhere. He was not going to tell me why he had hurt us, because he wouldn’t even acknowledge that he was an abuser. While I didn’t get the answer to this question that had haunted me for so long, I did gain a new sense of power over him. He always hated me, because I was the one person he couldn’t control. I always stood up to him, even when I was little, and because of that it gave me power over him. Standing up to him multiple times made it easier for me to retain my own sense of self and dignity. While I had no intention of confronting him that day, I’m glad that I did.
