ALL WOMEN DESERVE BETTER! OUR BODIES ARE BEAUTIFUL AND POWERFUL!

After I finished writing the last post, it started to trigger a lot of anxiety in me that I thought I had healed. It brought me back to this moment, in which I first remember seeing those "body after baby" magazine covers, that now all the female celebrities are basically required to do. In which they magically morph their bodies back to perfection a few months after giving birth, and if they don't they are torn apart in the tabloids.

As someone who spent most of my life with a hate relationship towards my body and struggled a lot with an eating disorder, the first time I saw those covers it gave me a panic attack. I think for any woman pregnancy stirs up a lot of body issues, seeing that we are already so bombarded with this idea that we have to be perfect all the time. And there's a good chance that your body most likely will change a lot after you get pregnant. For any woman who has struggled with an eating disorder, pregnancy can be a very dangerous time, because it can trigger all of that, and even make a woman relapse, seeing that it can make you feel like you are very out of control and eating disorders are all about gaining back control. This means she could be going back to throwing up after every meal, or even starving herself while she is pregnant. This was already an issue for some women, and I think this whole new focus on this "body after baby" has now made this an issue for every woman in our society. It's given us another reason to put pressure on ourselves to not allow our bodies to change at all.

For someone like me, it's taken me almost my entire life to get to a point in which I am happy with myself and my body, I no longer have anxiety over what I eat, or when I eat. I don't worry about that stuff anymore, but I've often thought that a pregnancy could bring that back. On top of that I feel that for my future career, I can't have my body change. I would love to get back into dance and form a dance group and perform and I would love to model again, and I can't exactly have my body change too much, because the costumes are usually pretty small for dance. Thats something I feel I have to consider. The good news is that I've always wanted to adopt which would actually solve a lot of these problems, but I've also thought I would like to have one child through my own body.

I think this new impossible standard for us to live up to as women does so much harm to us and to our society. It makes you worry that your man will then leave you if you don't look the same after you've given birth, and unfortunately there's a lot of men like that. I remember my abusive ex used to tell me all the time (amongst many other horrible things he would say to me) that if I ever gained weight he would leave me. In hindsight that would've been a blessing, and maybe if I had gained lots of weight he wouldn't have spent the next year and a half after we broke up stalking/harassing and threatening me. So I guess gain lots of weight ladies, or just do what makes you happy, because then hopefully you'll find a man who really does love all of you.

I felt a lot of anxiety around this issue until I remembered that maybe my body will change if I decide to have a child at some point, but I also happen to be healer who knows full well that you can pretty much reverse anything that happens to your body. There are a lot of natural techniques that a healer would use, if a woman were trying to get her body to look a certain way, and it would all come from helping her feel better internally so then it would reflect the way she looks externally.

I think the even bigger issue with this, is it's all just a distraction from the actual problems on this planet and those who are causing them. The focus should be on that. Female celebrities, and all women shouldn't feel guilty or be scrutinized for gaining weight. Women and girls are doing fine, and have a lot to be proud of, we should celebrate our bodies and how amazing they are, and more importantly how powerful they are!