AND JUST LET ME BE....
"I was engaged to a musician and he put a song out, and it was not the story that I remembered it being. And I remember being home, and I was just so like furious, and I also felt pretty helpless as well," she says, sitting in Spinner's New York office. "All the sudden this song is being put out and people think this is what happened and I don't have a voice, and I'm so used to having a voice because I play music."~Tristan Prettyman
I'm not gonna lie when I first heard about the engagement between Jason Mraz and Tristan Prettyman I thought it was a publicity stunt. As someone who had been a Mraz fan for a few years at that point, and had read a lot about him, I had never really seen anything about him having a girlfriend. So I thought it might just be something to boost both their careers. That was until I listened to her new album and it's very clear that wasn't the case at all. I always think you need to hear from the woman involved to get the real side of the story. In this case you get that wrapped into a beautiful album that I think will make her (or at least should) into a household name.
What she has to say totally reminds me of my ex whom I was so in love with, he was able to continue to string me along for years after we broke up. Even though he broke up with me, and soon after had a new girlfriend, everytime I talked to him he would tell me things like "She isn't even my girlfriend", and that he "didn't really like her that much." I'm pretty sure she thinks they're going to get married, but he's always told me a different story, and it kept giving me hope that they would break-up and we would get back together. At the end of the day he was hurting both me and his "non-girlfriend". Whenever he would say these things to me, I would tell him he either needs to break up with her if he doesn't like her, because that isn't fair to her to lead her on, or he needs to really appreciate and value her, and be grateful he has her. I feel I shouldn't have to explain that to any man.
From her songs, I gather that Mraz is the type of guy who either doesn't like the idea of sharing the spotlight with anyone, and/or he sort of just kept her on the side, maybe because he wanted something in his life that didn't have anything to do with his career ? Because I don't understand how you could be a successful artist and either be interested in or dating another artist and not want to do everything in your power to help them become successful too. But if that was the case that he wanted something for himself, than he needs to find a girl who is okay with being in the background, not one who is strong, powerful, independent, and clearly wants to make sure her voice is heard. I feel like most men like the idea of strong women, but then it also scares them a lot. I've found with myself, that after they date me, their next girlfriend always seems to be someone who is just kind of predictable and average, and therefore not scary, I think I'm too much for them.
I think one of my favorite things that she says in this song is that she wants someone who believes in themself as much as she believes in them. When it came to my ex, he was there for me during one of the darkest times of my life. He was with me throughout a lot of my illness, and sometimes he would just hold me for hours as I cried. I feel like through our relationship I saw very clearly who he was as a human being and as a man, and I wish that he would see that himself. He did have some self destructive behavior (doing drugs, not ever around me though) and I wonder if being with me made him really happy, and so he put an end to it, in a self-punishment sort of way. If that was the case, than I wish he would realize that he was also punishing me and what makes me happy as well, and that's really not fair.
http://www.spinner.com/2012/09/27/tristan-prettyman-cedar-gold/
