Treat Me Like The Goddess I Am!!
There was a study released earlier this week in which a lot of women reported that they believed they were quite frankly too fat for sex. That their bodies were not desirable. This saddened me on many levels, not just that some women feel that way, but I actually think all women have felt that way at some point. Not even necessarily that they were too fat for sex, but the larger issue of having a disgusting, undesirable body
There is so much pressure on us as women to be perfect. Perfect in every way shape and form, and at the base of it is our bodies. I, like every woman I've ever met (and a few guys too) struggled with massive body image issues, eating disorders, and incredibly dangerous dieting techniques, despite naturally being a on the smaller side. While these issues overtook my life as I became a teenager and began to go through puberty, they were actually being ingrained in me from the moment I was born.
I, like every other girl, owned a plethora of barbies, all of whom had ridiculously slender waists, giant fake boobs (at least they seemed like they were fake) and incredibly long legs. I was told this was the beauty standard ideal, not by anyone in particular, but by society at large. Women referencing their desire to look like Barbie, as well as media images of women who resembled her being successful and flaunted over. Telling that to any girl is going to be problematic. Telling that to a racially mixed, European-Mexican girl with dark hairs, dark eyes, who quite honestly was built like a lot of Mexicans, short and somewhat compact is asking for a disaster. I became obsessed with this idea at a young age of having long blonde hair, blue eyes, and lighter skin. Barbie was considered beautiful, and I wanted to be considered beautiful as well. Needless to say from a very young age I struggled with poor self image, even going as far to write hateful angry messages in my diary to myself about how ugly I was. When I came across those entries the other day I was shocked to realize how young I was, I was barely 7.
These issues only skyrocketed as my body began to change, and at 15 I was getting constant attention from guys as old as 25. At the time, I thought I was cool because of it, even though it was somewhat scary and overwhelming. Looking back on it now, I'm horrified that any man would think that is appropriate. When I hit 25 and started to look around at my 25 year old male counterparts, the scope of the situation really sank in. I was suddenly being plummeted into a very scary world in which I had no control over, and seemed to be dodging predators on a daily basis. The one thing I did have control over was body. The hatrid I felt towards my body didn't have anything to do with the changes occuring, it had to do with what they meant. I knew that my care-free girl childhood was over, and I was entering a world in which I was going to face constant discrimination, violence and abuse because I was becoming a woman. To compliment this, the boys at school around that same time began their constant degradation of girls, classifiying us as being "stupid" and "unworthy". We as girls tended to fall into the category of downplaying our intelligence, seeing that we were constantly being told, "men don't like smart women", and "we shouldn't be smarter than the boys", even though we naturally were.
All of this fear, hatrid, confusion, we directed at ourselves and our bodies. Its not like we could direct it at boys. That would've been useless, seeing that we live in a male controlled world, in which men are rarely if ever held accountable for their actions, especially when it comes to violence against women. We were well aware of this, so we began to hate ourselves, starving ourselves to gain control over the one thing we could which was food. It was also an attempt to control our bodies, maybe if they didn't change, we didn't go through puberty we wouldn't become women, and have to face this sad reality of what our lives would inevitably be like.
All of this carried over into adulthood, at least it definitely did with me, and into our sexuality. We're also taught that we not only don't own our bodies, but our bodies only exist for the pleasure of men. Our bodies are scrutinized even by the men who are suppose to love us the most. I've had more than one boyfriend make comments about how if I gained weight they would dump me, all the while another one is making comments about how I needed to gain weight. Hearing something like that certainly doesn't make you feel sexy or good about your body, especially when us as women have been struggling with so many body issues to begin with. Not too mention in my particular case, I do have a naturally larger chest, and the constant images of large fake breasts throughout my life, only greatly added to my insecurity. Who hasn't heard those jokes about the national geographic boobs? Obviously made by men who can't even get a date with a woman, but the point is that natural large breasts look very differently than those that are large but aren't natural. It gave me a huge complex about that, especially since implants have become so common place, they do seem to be the new natural asthetic for beauty, and seem to once again resemble that which Barbie maintained.
And yet, it doesn't stop there. With the advent of porn, we as women have suddenly become exposed to this idea that there may be another one of our body parts that is not perfect, and needs surgery to be fixed. An artist in the UK is launching an exhibit called "The Great Wall of Vagina" in which casts of many ladies lady-parts are on display, in an effort to show that while everyone is different down there, there is nothing that needs to be fixed. I know personally, the new recent surgeries that have come to surface, and seem to be becoming ever more so popular all about fixing that area, is just another thing to cause us women stress and anxiety. Its already taken me years to overcome the so-called imperfections I saw in my own body, now I have a full new set of things to worry about. Its just too much pressure on women, and I hope that this exhibit helps some of us (I have a feeling it will help a lot of us) realize we are all perfect and beautiful everywhere, and that no man ever has the right to make any of us feel bad about ourselves, or feel like there is something that needs to be fixed. Because there isn't anything that needs to be fixed. I hope this will help all of us as women reclaim our own sexuality and our own bodies, and progress towards being the goddesses that we are.
I added the link to the exhibit below. I would say, pay close attention to how this exhibit makes you feel. Does it make you feel uncomfortable, maybe disgusted, or even embarrassed? Where are these feelings coming from? Is it part of the much larger resentment you feel as a woman, because of all the oppression and abuse that goes with it? Are there unresolved issues about sexuality and your view on women's sexuality? Are there still unresolved body issues on a much larger scope? If at the very least I suggest watching the video, It made me cry and than made me feel super empowered!!
http://www.greatwallofvagina.co.uk/welcome.html
There is so much pressure on us as women to be perfect. Perfect in every way shape and form, and at the base of it is our bodies. I, like every woman I've ever met (and a few guys too) struggled with massive body image issues, eating disorders, and incredibly dangerous dieting techniques, despite naturally being a on the smaller side. While these issues overtook my life as I became a teenager and began to go through puberty, they were actually being ingrained in me from the moment I was born.
I, like every other girl, owned a plethora of barbies, all of whom had ridiculously slender waists, giant fake boobs (at least they seemed like they were fake) and incredibly long legs. I was told this was the beauty standard ideal, not by anyone in particular, but by society at large. Women referencing their desire to look like Barbie, as well as media images of women who resembled her being successful and flaunted over. Telling that to any girl is going to be problematic. Telling that to a racially mixed, European-Mexican girl with dark hairs, dark eyes, who quite honestly was built like a lot of Mexicans, short and somewhat compact is asking for a disaster. I became obsessed with this idea at a young age of having long blonde hair, blue eyes, and lighter skin. Barbie was considered beautiful, and I wanted to be considered beautiful as well. Needless to say from a very young age I struggled with poor self image, even going as far to write hateful angry messages in my diary to myself about how ugly I was. When I came across those entries the other day I was shocked to realize how young I was, I was barely 7.
These issues only skyrocketed as my body began to change, and at 15 I was getting constant attention from guys as old as 25. At the time, I thought I was cool because of it, even though it was somewhat scary and overwhelming. Looking back on it now, I'm horrified that any man would think that is appropriate. When I hit 25 and started to look around at my 25 year old male counterparts, the scope of the situation really sank in. I was suddenly being plummeted into a very scary world in which I had no control over, and seemed to be dodging predators on a daily basis. The one thing I did have control over was body. The hatrid I felt towards my body didn't have anything to do with the changes occuring, it had to do with what they meant. I knew that my care-free girl childhood was over, and I was entering a world in which I was going to face constant discrimination, violence and abuse because I was becoming a woman. To compliment this, the boys at school around that same time began their constant degradation of girls, classifiying us as being "stupid" and "unworthy". We as girls tended to fall into the category of downplaying our intelligence, seeing that we were constantly being told, "men don't like smart women", and "we shouldn't be smarter than the boys", even though we naturally were.
All of this fear, hatrid, confusion, we directed at ourselves and our bodies. Its not like we could direct it at boys. That would've been useless, seeing that we live in a male controlled world, in which men are rarely if ever held accountable for their actions, especially when it comes to violence against women. We were well aware of this, so we began to hate ourselves, starving ourselves to gain control over the one thing we could which was food. It was also an attempt to control our bodies, maybe if they didn't change, we didn't go through puberty we wouldn't become women, and have to face this sad reality of what our lives would inevitably be like.
All of this carried over into adulthood, at least it definitely did with me, and into our sexuality. We're also taught that we not only don't own our bodies, but our bodies only exist for the pleasure of men. Our bodies are scrutinized even by the men who are suppose to love us the most. I've had more than one boyfriend make comments about how if I gained weight they would dump me, all the while another one is making comments about how I needed to gain weight. Hearing something like that certainly doesn't make you feel sexy or good about your body, especially when us as women have been struggling with so many body issues to begin with. Not too mention in my particular case, I do have a naturally larger chest, and the constant images of large fake breasts throughout my life, only greatly added to my insecurity. Who hasn't heard those jokes about the national geographic boobs? Obviously made by men who can't even get a date with a woman, but the point is that natural large breasts look very differently than those that are large but aren't natural. It gave me a huge complex about that, especially since implants have become so common place, they do seem to be the new natural asthetic for beauty, and seem to once again resemble that which Barbie maintained.
And yet, it doesn't stop there. With the advent of porn, we as women have suddenly become exposed to this idea that there may be another one of our body parts that is not perfect, and needs surgery to be fixed. An artist in the UK is launching an exhibit called "The Great Wall of Vagina" in which casts of many ladies lady-parts are on display, in an effort to show that while everyone is different down there, there is nothing that needs to be fixed. I know personally, the new recent surgeries that have come to surface, and seem to be becoming ever more so popular all about fixing that area, is just another thing to cause us women stress and anxiety. Its already taken me years to overcome the so-called imperfections I saw in my own body, now I have a full new set of things to worry about. Its just too much pressure on women, and I hope that this exhibit helps some of us (I have a feeling it will help a lot of us) realize we are all perfect and beautiful everywhere, and that no man ever has the right to make any of us feel bad about ourselves, or feel like there is something that needs to be fixed. Because there isn't anything that needs to be fixed. I hope this will help all of us as women reclaim our own sexuality and our own bodies, and progress towards being the goddesses that we are.
I added the link to the exhibit below. I would say, pay close attention to how this exhibit makes you feel. Does it make you feel uncomfortable, maybe disgusted, or even embarrassed? Where are these feelings coming from? Is it part of the much larger resentment you feel as a woman, because of all the oppression and abuse that goes with it? Are there unresolved issues about sexuality and your view on women's sexuality? Are there still unresolved body issues on a much larger scope? If at the very least I suggest watching the video, It made me cry and than made me feel super empowered!!
http://www.greatwallofvagina.co.uk/welcome.html
