It must be nice to have a penis...?
I recently wrote a short post about the derogatory names that women who seek their reproductive rights are called. At the end of the post I made a comparison to how men are able to be violent, and abusive towards others but specifically towards women, and that they are labeled as Heroes in our society. I was speaking of this in terms of men in the military and men in other forms of super masculine careers such as being a professional athlete, and how they are able to get away with horrible things without any sort of repercussions.
After I wrote that last line of it "being nice to have a penis", I took a few days in which I was quite upset about it. I thought about changing that line, and went through a plethora of emotions. I wasn't even sure why I was so upset. I actually felt like originally I must've crossed a line, and than I realized the reason it upset me so much was because it was true. I started to think more and more about my guy friends who happen to be wonderful, respectful, inspirational men who aren't being labeled as "heroes" all the while these men who are the epitome of masculinity are being labeled in that manner. I started to wonder more and more how all of that must affect them. If being a man, and a hero in our society is equivalent to a man who can throw a football around all the while facing rape accusations, and rapists in the military are labeled as heroes because no one will prosecute them and put them in jail, what affect does that have on the men who are the polar opposite of that?
I guess what really kinda got to me, was a conversation I had with one of my close guy friends. At some point he referred to himself as just an "average dude". I was a little taken aback. He is by far one of the most tolerant, respectful, and compassionate men I've ever met. I'm constantly surprised by his dedication to call for peace, even when in my opinion its time to fight. Which could be due to my whole Scorpio vengeful side. It was somewhere between that, and reading something that Mr. Mraz wrote, referring to himself as an "underdog". I, like what my friend had said was caught off guard by this as well. I'm not sure on what planet being an incredibly talented, Grammy winning artist, who makes me personally want to do naughty naughty things to him every time I see him, is an "underdog" but OK.
If you think of it in terms of masculinity though, it does make sense how the men who respect women and want equality for everyone would see themselves that way. I mean that basically makes you the opposite of a man, it makes you a woman. Given that our gender actually wants silly things like to end war and poverty, I would say that it is a huge compliment. However, it also makes those same men the targets for the rest of the male population, and in terms of our society and world makes them not men. Basically any man who either can't conform to this idea of masculinity maybe because of his sexual orientation, or because he simply chooses not to conform, makes him a target to those men as well. Its important to remember that the patriarchy while favoring men, it favors a specific type of man. The uber aggressive, soulless kind. The men who don't fit that standard and choose not to try to, are not only also targeted, but seem to end up facing a lot of violence and abusive behavior from their male counterparts as well. Men have no problems turning on their own and inflicting as much pain on specific groups of men as well. It usually comes in the form of misogyny and homophobia, and no you don't have to be a member of either of those communities to be a victim of that.
I do wonder not only what we can do to help empower that specific group of men, but also to help boost their self-esteem a bit. Those are the men that I'm adamantly trying to always find and recruit to do women's rights work. The problem is that I'm not sure if the rest of their gender wants to hear what these men would have to say, nor do those super masculine men in my experience want to change the male archetype, so that these men who don't fit this traditional detrimental idea of masculinity, are the men that are looked up to and seen as the ones that little boys should aspire to be like.
With that being said I decided that I'm going to start a new short blog series called "The New Male Archetype" and will feature men who are doing some really amazing work, helping to change the world and make it a better place not just for women but for everyone. I hope that these men will help inspire other men to follow suit, and I hope it will give women not only a new model of man to aspire to be with, but also show women that there are men out there who are worth dating. I also hope it will help shine a light on a group that I feel is often overlooked,under appreciated, and victims of masculinity as well .
After I wrote that last line of it "being nice to have a penis", I took a few days in which I was quite upset about it. I thought about changing that line, and went through a plethora of emotions. I wasn't even sure why I was so upset. I actually felt like originally I must've crossed a line, and than I realized the reason it upset me so much was because it was true. I started to think more and more about my guy friends who happen to be wonderful, respectful, inspirational men who aren't being labeled as "heroes" all the while these men who are the epitome of masculinity are being labeled in that manner. I started to wonder more and more how all of that must affect them. If being a man, and a hero in our society is equivalent to a man who can throw a football around all the while facing rape accusations, and rapists in the military are labeled as heroes because no one will prosecute them and put them in jail, what affect does that have on the men who are the polar opposite of that?
I guess what really kinda got to me, was a conversation I had with one of my close guy friends. At some point he referred to himself as just an "average dude". I was a little taken aback. He is by far one of the most tolerant, respectful, and compassionate men I've ever met. I'm constantly surprised by his dedication to call for peace, even when in my opinion its time to fight. Which could be due to my whole Scorpio vengeful side. It was somewhere between that, and reading something that Mr. Mraz wrote, referring to himself as an "underdog". I, like what my friend had said was caught off guard by this as well. I'm not sure on what planet being an incredibly talented, Grammy winning artist, who makes me personally want to do naughty naughty things to him every time I see him, is an "underdog" but OK.
If you think of it in terms of masculinity though, it does make sense how the men who respect women and want equality for everyone would see themselves that way. I mean that basically makes you the opposite of a man, it makes you a woman. Given that our gender actually wants silly things like to end war and poverty, I would say that it is a huge compliment. However, it also makes those same men the targets for the rest of the male population, and in terms of our society and world makes them not men. Basically any man who either can't conform to this idea of masculinity maybe because of his sexual orientation, or because he simply chooses not to conform, makes him a target to those men as well. Its important to remember that the patriarchy while favoring men, it favors a specific type of man. The uber aggressive, soulless kind. The men who don't fit that standard and choose not to try to, are not only also targeted, but seem to end up facing a lot of violence and abusive behavior from their male counterparts as well. Men have no problems turning on their own and inflicting as much pain on specific groups of men as well. It usually comes in the form of misogyny and homophobia, and no you don't have to be a member of either of those communities to be a victim of that.
I do wonder not only what we can do to help empower that specific group of men, but also to help boost their self-esteem a bit. Those are the men that I'm adamantly trying to always find and recruit to do women's rights work. The problem is that I'm not sure if the rest of their gender wants to hear what these men would have to say, nor do those super masculine men in my experience want to change the male archetype, so that these men who don't fit this traditional detrimental idea of masculinity, are the men that are looked up to and seen as the ones that little boys should aspire to be like.
With that being said I decided that I'm going to start a new short blog series called "The New Male Archetype" and will feature men who are doing some really amazing work, helping to change the world and make it a better place not just for women but for everyone. I hope that these men will help inspire other men to follow suit, and I hope it will give women not only a new model of man to aspire to be with, but also show women that there are men out there who are worth dating. I also hope it will help shine a light on a group that I feel is often overlooked,under appreciated, and victims of masculinity as well .
